tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19398778212418716222024-03-13T09:29:19.637-07:00TherapyMartinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-71471435417860580072020-02-12T00:58:00.003-08:002020-02-12T01:16:25.697-08:00<br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><i>The craziness of Organisations and Countries!</i></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My week so far. At the beginning of this week, as a psychotherapist, I was giving support to staff at an organisation where two members of staff had committed suicide within a few hours of each other. They had an affair, left their families, and moved in together. She was unstable and admitted herself to psychiatric hospital where she killed herself; he killed himself when he learnt this. I am sure this shocking tragedy would not have happened in a culture that supported open and multiple relationships and diverse styles of family life. Essentially, they were victims of toxic monogamy and a rigid model of what families are supposed to look like. </span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uQA--wLUfyE/XkO8HYAFIlI/AAAAAAAAAKk/4tOBoe7OvkUsHBmjfLDRMUctb-2v75jSwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/20200211_151033%257E2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uQA--wLUfyE/XkO8HYAFIlI/AAAAAAAAAKk/4tOBoe7OvkUsHBmjfLDRMUctb-2v75jSwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/20200211_151033%257E2.jpg" width="180" /></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next day, I spent the whole day at an Adjudication Panel in Canary Wharf, the heart of Mammon; with all the formality of barristers and clerks because someone at my former professional organisation UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) had the idea that I should have separate mobile phone numbers for my work with psychotherapy and with tantra. Both of which I have been doing for more than thirty years. At best this can be thought of as a rigidity of “how things should be” or an attempt to guard the boundaries of pure psychotherapy from contamination by other forms of growth, healing and change. If this was successful, it would be goodbye to Buddhist psychotherapy, yoga psychotherapy, shamanic psychotherapy and an end to the exciting developments in plant medicines like psilocybin for use in therapy. After several hours they decided that there was “No Case to Answer”! 😇</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The only other explanation of why UKCP would spend many thousands of pounds on this is that it is the continuation of a bizarre episode which started in 2014 when UK Association of Humanistic Psychology Practitioners (UKAHPP, my member organisation of UKCP), was taken over by a psychopath, Derek Lawton who accused 13 of the most senior members, of trying to hack in to a website to steal members details to set up another organisation. He also made himself an Honorary Life Member! There never was any evidence, and <i>primae facie</i> it is a bizarre idea that people often in their 60’s and near retirement and just about capable of doing emails would want to do such a thing, even if capable. In a professional organisation members’ contact information is available in a directory of members for referrals. This was published as a paper edition for several years. Most of the 13 just resigned, but I and one other fought this, and eventually it went to a General Meeting of all the members. Incredibly most of the AHPP members were too intimidated to stand up for common sense. Years later the UKCP finally admitted its mistakes in the handling of the complaints; “<i>it has been accepted that the complaint that HIPC raised at UKCP level was not handled in the most efficient or effective way.</i>” AHPP continues to limp along declining as it goes. The UKCP appears, from what their barrister said in the hearing, to believe that its role is to recognise areas of psychotherapy. It simply isn't, mainly through its member organisations, it accredits therapists.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The reason I believe that the attack on me is connected to this event of several years ago; is that AHPP was set up by John Rowan, who could be called the grandfather of humanistic psychology in the UK. He was a wonderful colleague and support. He died aged 93 in 2018 and less than a week after his funeral I get an email from Martin Pollecoff, Chair of UKCP asking me to correct a minor error I had made in the account of the General Meeting. I have put in a Freedom of Information request to get more information on this. I would advise any aspiring therapists to join the Independent Practitioners Network <a href="http://ipnetwork.org.uk/">http://ipnetwork.org.uk/</a> .</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Voluntary organisations are always vulnerable to being taken over by psychopaths and in the last few years we have seen how countries can be taken over by those with personality disorders such as Donald Trump and Boris Johnson. In a time of massive irreversible climate and ecological catastrophes giving rise to anxiety and despair, the role of psychotherapist is to empower people to turn dread and despair into heart-based community and action. Rigidity and lack of dialogue kills people and organisations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Psychotherapy continues to evolve and flourish and I hope my book on tantric psychotherapy will be available next year. My website <a href="http://www.tantricpsychotherapy.com/">www.tantricpsychotherapy.com</a> is just a placeholder at the moment for my work in this area. </span><br />
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Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-44289844433307939852016-05-22T05:52:00.001-07:002016-05-22T05:52:20.962-07:00Wilhelm Reich, psychoanalyst and scientist<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reich died in jail in America </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">nearly sixty years ago, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">after having most of his books burnt on the orders of the American government. As a young psychiatrist in Vienna, in the mid - 1920 he had been a brilliant pupil of Sigmund Freud and part of the inner circle in the growing world of psychoanalysis. Many of his ideas are in use today; often unacknowledged However, many distorted</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> idea and rumours were circulated about him and his work during his life and after his death. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I became interested in Reich's work in my late teens sensing that his connection of the body, energy, sexuality, repression and political ideology were key. His book Character Analysis showed some of his therapeutic approach; based in the early work of Freud. This book is still recognised as one of the foundations of body psychotherapy; an approach that is coming back in to recognitions neuroscience supports its principles. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In 1933 he published The Mass Psychology of Fascism and soon after had to flee Hitler; ending up living in the United State. You can listen to a recent radio interview on Reich. <a href="http://wnpr.org/post/contributions-wilhelm-reich#stream/0" style="color: #956839; text-decoration: underline;">Click Here</a>.</span><br /><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PBlC4pxWT70/V0B6OqosD7I/AAAAAAAAS_Y/Bi9NykEHbYMH16n-IqbglWlq5fugRwTFwCLcB/s1600/Reich%2Bquote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #956839; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After he died, on his orders, all his papers and laboratory notes were all locked away for fifty years. They are now available and at last a film is being made which will give an accurate account of Reich and his ideas using his original notes. The film has been funded through crowdfunding. It has been shot and now money is needed to edit it. They have now got about half the money they need. I have made a small contribution. If you would like to do so then <a href="https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/wilhelm-reich-documentary-film-project-edit-phase--7/#/" style="color: #956839; text-decoration: underline;">Click Here to go to Crowdfunding Page.</a></span><br /></div>
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Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-34004969467074631542015-04-20T03:33:00.003-07:002015-04-22T14:18:41.330-07:00Labels, pathologising or containing? <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It seems as if life; both professionally and personally is getting me to think more about labels and pathologies. Generally humanistic therapists are concerned with the uniqueness of each person and want to support them to be open to everything they can without any restriction. Labels; particularly ones that point to a pathology can easily become more important than the person who has the label and with labels can follow formulaic ways of treating the label; not appreciating and seeing the person. However labels can have explanatory power; reduce feelings of chaos and aloneness and stop worse labels being applied. They can contain rather than limit. For example, years ago in schools, children that we now know have dyslexia were just labelled and dismissed as "thick"! It can sometimes be helpful for someone coming to therapy with what, to them, seems like a collection of random symptoms that are signs of failure, to be told that it sounds like they are depressed. What can be named can often be explored and known and transformed. </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aT8eE-tNg54/VTTVC3ekW3I/AAAAAAAAAGk/DIM9_fSAT5c/s1600/corporation-psychopathy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aT8eE-tNg54/VTTVC3ekW3I/AAAAAAAAAGk/DIM9_fSAT5c/s1600/corporation-psychopathy.png" height="179" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Labelling can easily connect to diagnosis and a pull towards a medical model of diagnosis and treatment which ignores the uniqueness of each person's depression for example and give a pseudoauthority to what is little more than prejudice. However, over the years I have become increasingly convinced of the the usefulness of the concept of personality disorder. Anyone who thinks borderline personality disorder doesn't exist has never met one! There are plenty of people in certain professions with narcissistic personality disorders and sadly my professional association, AHPP has been taken over by someone with psychopathic personality disorder. Some research suggested that 5 - 10% of successful corporate CEO's sore highly on test of psychopathy. Of course you cannot convince anyone the have a personality disorder; that is its nature. It is ego-syntonic. However everyone around them knows eventually through their behaviour and how they are treated. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In many ways, personality disorder is just a name for a cluster of behaviours and attitudes. It is not in the same category as a diagnosis of measles even though people talk of mental health categories in the same way as diseases with real pathogens. It itself personality disorder labels do not have to be more pathologising than an astrologer saying that someone is a "typical Leo" or a homoeopath saying someone is a "Sulphur type" or therapists talking about character structures. Everyone is unique and yet there are universal recurring patterns. I firmly believe that personality disorder can be worked with in therapy and modified and the negative aspects reduced. There are positive aspects to all personality disorders when awareness and moderation are brought to them. Of course the hardest part is for the person to believe they have one but this is not necessary. The label can help guide the therapy and the issues to be worked on in much the same way that character structure can be used as a guide to origins, issues and ways of working. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have recently had a client who has now become dominated by a fixed paranoid idea with delusions and possibly hallucinations. They are unshakable in their belief and very difficult to work with. No amount of rational argument or evidence or common sense shakes their belief which fills their life and the sessions. I cannot say if this is paranoid schizophrenia but if does feel very powerful. I also have a client who, with my encouragement, took a test for autism and scored highly. I hope it helps us to understand what they need to give them the means of working around their difficulties in relationships that this explains. No label is ever a sentence if it is held lightly; but it is a starting point, and may be a relief</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-83988331448101867042014-06-01T11:43:00.001-07:002014-06-01T11:43:53.426-07:00 BrainspottingIn my time I have been fortunate to see some world-class therapists doing live sessions; James Bugenthal, Hal Stone, Tapas Fleming and Asha Clinton the last two both from the energy psychology world. For the last four days I have been with another from the same league; David Grand who in 2003 discovered a powerful new form of therapy. David trained as an analyst in the early 80's and in 1993 trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming). He later trained in a body therapy called Somatic Experiencing and combined them to make EMDR less rigid as Natural Flow EMDR. In 2003 he noticed with one client that when she fixated at one point in her visual field she processed new trauma and deepened her processing of other traumas they had worked on for a year all in the space of ten minutes. Brainspotting was born.<br />
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"Where you look affects how you feel" and your field of vision contains the traumas and fixating on them in the right way allows pure therapy; the processing of the traumas at the level of the limbic cortex, the mid-brain and the brain-stem. This is where all deep change happens because this is where traumatic patterns are stored; way below the neocortex and conscious narrative about what happened. I feel as if I have been witnessing therapy laid bare; the core processes happening before my eyes. I witnessed a session of only about 40 minutes where a person who had absolutely no sense of smell from the age of three, when her grandmother forced her to drink some terrible chemical as a way of stopping her from crying; recovered her sense of smell and came out of a state of frozen terror and dissociation. The requirement is a very highly attuned therapist; attuned both to the relationship and the neurobiology of the client, and getting the right spots for the brain/body to use its own healing abilities to process the trauma and put it where it belongs; in the past so that the person can be more fully alive and present now and recover a sense that had been completely shut down. The hardest part to teach is mindful, empathic attuned presence on the part of the therapist.<br />
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Psychotherapy and neurobiology are coming together; not in a cold scientific way but affirming the central humanistic principles of trust in the process, empathy and deep mindful presence. I feel so priviledged and excited to be part of such a live profession as psychotherapyMartinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-16483656124554597342014-02-20T13:54:00.002-08:002014-02-20T13:54:34.881-08:00 Ego, self and regression .The spiritual world usually has hardly a good word to say about the ego; it is the source of all selfishness and greed. By contrast, the therapy world constantly faces people who have a "weak ego" and tries to strengthen it. Ken Wilber's map of pre-personal, personal and transpersonal neatly sorts this out as belonging to different aspects of the spectrum of consciousness and his book <i>No Boundary</i> is a simple exposition of the expanding definitions of the self. It is clear that the problem is with the identification with the ego not the ego itself.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_uOSjUfNj7Q/UKoZ3RYM1EI/AAAAAAAAADA/JaNULE1rnBs/s1600/390664_10150685753414908_1744550805_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_uOSjUfNj7Q/UKoZ3RYM1EI/AAAAAAAAADA/JaNULE1rnBs/s1600/390664_10150685753414908_1744550805_n.jpg" height="152" width="200" /></a>The ego is the seat of identity; not necessarily in a very fundamental sense but rather like a passport; it gives some useful information but it isn't exactly the whole story. We all have an everyday identity and ordinary life would be intolerable without one. The ego is also the part of us which can deal with the world in a practical sense; mediating between the "reality principle" on the one hand and the internal world of desires and fears on the other. Our desires may say "chocolate cake <b><u>now</u><i>!</i></b>"; our fears or superego may say "that's not a good diet" and our ego may say; "I'll make a salad for main course and I'll check the cupboard and, if I have the ingredients, bake a chocolate cake for tea later this afternoon.".<br />
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Where there isn't enough ego strength then we are prey to terror and regression. The world becomes a frightening place which can easily overwhelm us. It is amazing how strongly people can regress to a place where they cannot function at all. I have seen one person do this recently just from having less structure and finding themselves alone. Adverse, but not life-threatening, situations, can also provoke regression to a primitive child-like place or to desperation and black-and-white thinking.<br />
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In therapy which includes a transpersonal dimension, such as tantric psychotherapy; there is work to do in strengthening the ego by reducing past trauma (which weakens the ego) using methods from energy psychology as well as unconditional warmth, empathy and creating a coherent narrative of life. However, <a href="http://www.tantricpsychotherapy.com/" target="_blank">tantric psychotherapy</a> using body and energy methods, breathing and touch, supports the move beyond the small self of the conscious mind to the spaciousness of the body and the energy system and towards dissolving into the universe. This is who we really are. It is a quick trip around the spectrum of consciousness.Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-76251284004045231562013-11-24T04:29:00.000-08:002013-11-24T04:29:10.149-08:00Object-relations; relating to an object<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
I always thought that object
relations was an odd term for that vast development of psychoanalytic theory
that happened after the war. Some time later, I realised that the word “object”
is used in the grammatical sense as in subject-verb-object! It developed our
understanding of how our internal world is created by taking in, not just
experiences but the relationship and above all the other person who was
also present. It need not be a complete person but a fragment or an aspect or a
distortion or an entity or an archetype that connects to the experience. These inner people and fragments can then have
a life of their own in a dance of dramas which attempt to control the person.
Some parts are more conscious, some more benign, some nasty, some work away hidden
in the background. All this internal noise keeps the person from developing a
solid enough part to keep the rest in order. The process needs to be like
turning a mob in to a committee with a strong enough chairperson or facilitator
to draw on each member’s skill and point of view, but not to let anyone
dominate or take over. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Self-help literature and much of
the stuff I see on Facebook as useful quotes in interpersonal matters assumes
that there is some sort of internal order and that the committee may need some
help but all its members are known and can at least sit down together. What is
needed is to strengthen the role of the chairperson or facilitator. <o:p></o:p></div>
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However for some people this is not true
and their object relations which get put out on to the world is not one of
other people, but of parts of people and sometimes functions and may change chaotically. Every baby and
small child needs a secure base to operate from and return to regularly for
emotional top-ups. If someone has the secure base projected on to them, they cease to be a person and become a function - a thing, a sort of
slot-machine which is supposed to produce the goods when the button is pressed.
This really is an object relation and no amount of non-violent communication
methods, or dialogue or skilled help will change that in to a human relationship because
that implies a sort of symmetry; two people together trying to sort things
out. This symmetry implies the loss of
the function and that to the small baby part, is abandonment and death. This is
the basis of much personality disorder where the whole issue is the
impossibility of real human relating in the face of the demands of the most
primitive parts of the psyche for security or admiration rather than real
relating with its messy compromises. Self-help and sensible advice need a good-enough self which can at least begin to take in the reality of other people as autonomous beings not things.<o:p></o:p></div>
Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-42550632710633185722013-09-01T07:14:00.001-07:002013-09-01T07:14:57.397-07:00PD - The Elephant in the Room<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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All humanistic therapists are suspicious of labels for people. The infinite complexity and marvel of a person can't be captured in any word, label or concept. Labels can easily also freeze time and imply that people can't change; attract judgements and create hierarchy. However, the skilful use of words can help us to understand ourselves and others and communicate some of this understanding.<br />
There are three related words which can be very helpful and are often not understood; particularly in the world of personal development. They can easily be lost into the world of psychiatry or clinical psychology. They are neurosis; personality disorder and psychosis and I want to briefly write about each.<br />
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<b>Neurotic</b> behaviour is simply when someone seems to not be able to learn from their experiences. They do the same unhelpful thing over and over again with the same unhappy results. Everyone makes many mistakes in their lives; neurosis prevents us from learning from them. It has a stuck and repetitive quality. Something is behind the behaviour and the failure to learn, which is not fully known and operates in the background - the subconscious. It is likely to be past fears and needs that now are not fully conscious. Neurotic behaviours simply doesn't work very well at making a life of relaxation, pleasure, intimacy, creativity and ease. All basic requirements of human beings. Some behaviours can be seen as addictive but are fairly easily acknowledged as unhelpful. Often it is seen as "just the way I am" ; as if people can't change. But people can always change, neural pathways in the brain can be re-wired. Neurosis is almost always accompanied, and may be primarily signalled by either anxiety or, often the long term effect of constant anxiety; depression. Anxiety is "fear spread thin"; a sense of vigilance and arousal as if there is some immediate danger. The danger is unknown and the anxiety can often move from one focus to the other. Sometimes the anxiety itself is pushed in to the body and becomes physical illness. About one in ten people will have anxiety and a similar number depression at some time in their lives. People with a lot of neurotic behaviours can easily be labelled, but I hope not dismissed, as neurotic. At its heart neurosis is a failing attempt to manage discomfort and dis-ease; some feedback and reflection can often allow the person to acknowledge the neurotic aspects of themselves and begin the process of healing; by the twin paths of removing the traumas that are behind the neurosis and learning and practising new behaviours which help them get more of what they really need in life.<br />
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<b>Psychosis</b> by contrast involves parts of the person which are not in contact with consensual reality and which either create fear or lead to behaviours which are ineffective or unhelpful to the person. They cannot be easily confronted by new information or feedback and are more deeply buried in the unconscious rather than the subconscious. They often have a quality of dominating a person's life leading to dramatic changes; though sometimes they have a contained psychotic part with an unshakable belief which does not usually totally dominate their life. As all people have different parts of their whole personality it is possible to have a psychotic part which can be contained. People who are actively psychotic need sanctuary; safe places where they are protected, supported and loved until the parts more able to deal with the ordinary world can get stronger. Rarely, they may benefit from some medication. Unfortunately in our society; the idea of an asylum; a safe place has largely gone and been replaced by chemical prisons which may sometimes be the only option but which often block any process of healing and re-connection. There are one or two conditions (perhaps schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder which each affect about 1% of people) where there may be an organic component and medication may be the best; just as a diabetic may need insulin to function.<br />
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The most interesting third term is <b>personality disorder</b>. This is the elephant in the room; the hidden iceberg which is all around us. Some studies suggest up to one in ten people have a personality disorder. There are about ten recognisable varieties of personality disorder. Many are characterised by withdrawn, detached, fearful or eccentric behaviours and may be distressing for those who have to try and relate to them. However there are some personality disorders characterised by lack of empathy for others and severe disturbance in interpersonal functioning. The two largest of these are Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders. They, like most personality disorders, are egosyntonic which means that nobody goes to a therapist and says that they have a personality disorder. Friends or a partner may push them to a therapist. Anyone who has worked, particularly in industries like finance, law, the theatre, politics will have come across people who are almost impossible to deal with and leave a trail of wounding and destruction behind them. It is very unconscious and has some of the characteristics of a psychosis in its disconnectedness from aspects of consensual reality and their unavailability for feedback and discussion. It is as if their relating is completely beyond all reflection. Unlike neurosis, they often are not troubled by high levels of anxiety or depression. In fact it is a sign of progress in therapy when they feel such things.<br />
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Our society rewards financial and career success so some forms of personality disorder can get considerable rewards for the effects for their personality disorder. One study found higher levels of three personality disorders in executives than in patients in Broadmoor secure psychiatric hospital. This is likely to be true for, for example psychopathic personality disorder, as being ruthless in business is likely to lead to success, at least in the short to medium term. In some ways all personality disorders exist between neurosis and psychosis but they are a different to both while containing elements of both. Some, like borderline personality disorder have overt anxiety but often they do not. They exist with a degree of certainty which eliminates anxiety. This certainty and the interpersonal behaviours that it promotes, is damaging and confusing for those around. One of the best books on living with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is subtitled "walking on eggshells" from the experience of what it is like being around someone with sudden and violent mood swings and an unstable sense of self. Those around someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are being called on to admire and/or serve the other. Being an admirer or a servant is never very satisfying if you actually want intimacy; you are always either a resource or a threat as a narcissist lives mostly in their own world and can never really see or emphasise with another. For narcissists, ageing is often particularly difficult and they are prone to develop addictions later in life if the possibility of success is no longer enough of a drug. For borderline personality disorder the intensity of their dramas exacts a big price on their body and they burn out or have to quieten down. Both are living with a weak ego which is always threatened by the world and swings between fear of abandonment and fear of engulfment and annihilation.<br />
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Personality disorder is the elephant in the room; an elephant which may be trashing the furniture. I'd rather such labels didn't exist but the disorders certainly do with varying degrees of severity. At one end of the scale of severity is idiosyncrasies and interesting personality types and character structures; at the severe end are desperate people unable to function at all in the world of other people and of real relationships. Psychotherapy certainly works with personality disorders but it is more or less impossible unless they can come to the realisation that they have one and it is often slow, steady work.<br />
<br />Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-11401173362189562352013-04-01T13:46:00.000-07:002013-04-01T13:46:43.485-07:00On Tickling and being excitedOver the years I have come across several clients where being tickled has been a major trauma. It meant having their boundaries crossed and their body and excitement taken over without any means of stopping it. If later they indicate that the did not like or want this, then it is received as if they cannot take a joke or dislike fun.<br />
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Having one's body at the mercy of another unasked is of course traumatic as in sexual abuse, but with tickling it is also the deliberate manipulation of their excitement into a place where it goes over from pleasure, excitement and fun to invasion and fear or even terror as the object of fear is within - the effects of excess excitement on the system.<br />
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It may be in such families it is just one example of not being listened to and lack of empathic attunement by caregivers. It is an exercise of power over which starts as fun with but leads to an objectification of the other with the refusal of recognition of the traumatic impact. The victim is invited to laugh it off as well.<br />
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It is part of the normal adult interaction with babies to play with their excitement and give an experience of the thrill of some danger with the return to safety. This is often done by throwing the baby or small child in the air and catching them. I gather than men are more likely to let go than women and perhaps the role of the man is to expose the child to increasing risk as part of growth and adventure. However this is done within the frame of attunement and modulation of the level of excitement and the reality of the return to safety with a cuddle as they are caught.<br />
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With body psychotherapy with adults the question of what constitutes too much activation is harder to gauge. I remember many years ago a trainer saying to us that if you want to increase the flow of the river you need to increase the height of the banks; this was in the context of general working with energy. The general point is that the container of the therapy has to be strong enough to support the appropriate abandonment of safety in that moment with a certainty of return to earth; safety and the possibility of re-integration at a higher level with increasing ego-structure. We can only grow when we risk we can only know the strength of what we can test.<br />
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With tickling it is the child's weaker sense of self and their relative powerlessness along with the lack of attunement and empathy which is so destructive. Not being listened to and taken seriously afterwards, and often a sense of being played with, compounds the trauma. Tickling is one of the first self-other interactions which is why you cannot tickle yourself and can be formative or destructive. If in doubt about your abilities to judge another; don't tickle!Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-1793683549856880942013-01-30T10:40:00.001-08:002013-01-30T10:40:18.139-08:00Connection or Contact?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KHglqN02mf4/UQlmZmRFTjI/AAAAAAAAAD4/6aIIYvPrryE/s1600/Now.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KHglqN02mf4/UQlmZmRFTjI/AAAAAAAAAD4/6aIIYvPrryE/s200/Now.jpg" width="152" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I started as a psychotherapist, long before mobile phones or email, it was easier to maintain a therapeutic relationship than it is now. I don't think my skill in managing the relationship has declined; it has to be that something else has changed. Technology has provided us with many more means of almost instant contact, mobiles, texts, tweets, Facebook and instant messaging, apps on your phone to find out who is nearby...But contact is often momentary and to exchange small amounts of relatively superficial information. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The requirement of constancy and the perseverance that is needed to create a deep therapeutic relationship is so counter-cultural to the notion that the customer is king and gratification should be immediate or you should move on. Much of my practice is in Central London where this may be worse. Many people are just moving through or working in the media industry where they may have to change projects or go abroad or work late at a moment's notice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My parents were born not long after the First world war and stability was desired after the turmoil, I was born not that long after the Second with probably a similar cultural need. Families often still had the static (even stiffling) structure that patriarchy provided so well. Now families and living arrangements are often re-formed in childhood, things are more fluid. Duty and commitment have given way to "taking the waiting out of wanting" as one credit card advert put it; "Do it Now!" was a slogan of the late 60's. Things, rather than feeling rigid or monolithic now often feel rather fragile and temporary; including relationships. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In conventional therapy terms we are talking about attachment and what can turn contact to connection to enduring relationship. Early good attachment in the first few years requires an adequately attuned and empathic caregiver with enough support and protection. Sadly today many did not grow up with that and their sense of self and their attachment styles are more fluid, and sometimes chaotic. Their unconscious fears easily support the cultural permissions to make distance, move on, go shopping, and become too busy. I read recently that some American college students were seeking help from consultants in how to date. They were able to do the "hookup" for sex or to just "hang out together" arranged through all the electronic media but what they couldn't do was create or deepen relationship. One of the reasons for this is the prevalence of shame as a core experience. The hallmark of shame is a wish to hide. The best way of hiding is to simply disappear from the relationship.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There may be a positive side to this but it makes the job of psychotherapy much more difficult because I still have not found a substitute for a solid, continuing therapeutic relationship for real growth and healing.</span>Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-45135378793165726402013-01-02T01:26:00.000-08:002013-01-02T01:26:13.207-08:00Ten Fundamental Principles of Psychotherapy<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Psychotherapy comes from</span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Psyche</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> means “Soul” and </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Therapia</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> means “to attend to” so psychotherapy is attending to the Soul for the purpose of healing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. The means of doing this is the application of Love, through relationship. Psychotherapy involves a conscious, boundaried professional relationship for applying love for the purposes of healing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. The healing and love are anchored into, and work through, the body which the seat of the Soul in this lifetime.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. The form psychotherapy takes is many methods for the liberation of love and energy in the body, mind and spirit through the removal of blocks to the free flow of life, love and energy. <span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 14.033333778381348px; text-align: center;">"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." Rumi</span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. These blocks can be dissolved through love and consciousness and increasing the energy flow of the body whilst being safely held in relationship and being witnessed. Tantra is the ancient science of using practices to bring energy and consciousness together to realise our Oneness to all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. At the deepest level this reconnects all to the Divine, healing the Soul and connecting to Spirit. <i>"Energy is of the Body,.. energy is eternal Delight." William Blake</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. This is usually best accomplished by working from the foundations of the body and the places where trauma and blocks to the free flow of energy are principally held and love and consciousness, most absent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. This generally means the lower abdomen and the belly from the pelvic floor upwards. These foundational areas are damaged most by childhood trauma and in most cultures have been denied, distorted, invaded and shamed; particularly for women.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. Attention and often touch support consciousness coming in to an area or an issue. Breathing, movement, sound, affirmation, support and loving strokes encourage the flow of energy into that area.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10. The form that life energy takes <u>has</u> to include sexual energy. To avoid working with sexual energy is to subtly maintain denial and shame and so to refuse to clear trauma and blocks. Basically Freud was right about this and psychotherapy has been retreating from his insight for a hundred years now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tantric Psychotherapy is the name I have given to the bringing of all the methods of tantra to the task of healing the Soul, through the body and mind and reconnecting to Spirit. See<a href="http://www.tantricpsychotherapy.com/" target="_blank"> www.tantricpsychotherapy.com</a> .</span><br />
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Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-61691017071931623732012-11-24T03:36:00.001-08:002012-11-24T03:37:44.521-08:00Bring back knowledge!<br />
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went to the dentist recently and was profoundly grateful to find a skilful, experienced and probably highly trained dentist. I really wouldn't have been happy with someone who said that they knew all about dentistry because they had been on a whole weekend course in how to do it, had had couple of fillings themselves and had even read a books on it!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When it comes to psychotherapy, it seems to be very different. Many people seem to believe that they know what psychotherapy is and how it should be done and are perfectly happy to set up as therapist; others are happy to go. It is based more on belief, fashion and conviction than on knowledge or experience. I suppose that this is part of a post-modern, pluralist world suspicious of expertise and hegemony. Reluctantly, after nearly thirty years as a therapist, I have come to the conclusion that most people really don't know what psychotherapy is; they confuse it with personal growth or development or some particular ideology that they subscribe to which often boils down to willpower or belief. They are offered self-help books, quick-fix courses and the encouragement to become powerful, discover themselves and follow their own truth. If fits with a culture of instant change, instant expertise lack of respect for experience (as if human distress has really changed that radically). There is scant understanding of the difference between the pre-personal; the personal and the transpersonal that Ken Wilber writes of. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What many will say is that the State should licence therapists but this requires us to trust the government. No thanks! In Soviet Russia, Freud's works were secretly printed and circulated underground. The present government's love affair with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is only slowly coming to an end. The alternative is for people to become more discriminating.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To evaluate a therapist, as well as trusting your intuition ask them how long they have seen some clients for; (warning; less isn't better some people take quite a time). Ask they about how they deal with suicidal clients, how they understand dissociation and embodied trauma; what their experience of long term therapy as a client was like, if they have good regular supervision; their understanding of ego-strength and how it can be built. Ask about what they can do between sessions and what support is offered.</span>Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-81708615068024624062012-11-19T03:43:00.000-08:002012-11-19T11:50:05.886-08:00Negative K<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was a teenager in the late 60’s and am from the humanistic
tradition of psychotherapy.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is a
tradition based in optimism about what we may be and the sense of basic
goodness at the heart of every person which, although it may be corrupted by
pain and distress; can be recovered. At its best, I still believe, it
represents the deepest spiritual truth; at its worst it is a naïve optimism
about people and life and possibilities.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyone who has worked as a psychotherapist for a long while is likely to
come up against the notion of damage and what can and can’t be repaired in people.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miracles are always possible and radical
change certainly happens.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the past I
have tried with clients to support a realistic idea of what can be changed with
the metaphor of the difference between an open weeping wound and a scar.
Nothing can create perfect skin but therapy can help change an open wound into
a scar; healing doesn’t eradicate all traces of the past, it makes life
possible;</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the trauma is still
discernible but no longer dangerous.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, clinical experience sometimes takes us to look at
the sense that some clients have of damage. Perhaps this is the “Basic Fault” (see
M. Balint) that can’t be repaired.
Wilfred Bion, a brilliant and
original developer of psychoanalysis, came up with a theoretical formulation of
the functions of Love, Hate and Knowledge in both positive and negative
forms. Negative Knowledge (K minus) is
the core part that actively doesn’t want to know and destroys knowledge and
awareness. Its forms can be very
destructive of any goodness in the internal world and of any attempts to help.
There are many other ways of conceptualising this. Unless you have led a charmed life as a
person and as a therapist , you will have met people who seem impossible to
help and who perform the alchemical task of turning gold into shit. They twist everything good into a force
against themselves or others who try and help.
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Melanie Klein gave another way of understanding this through
her use of the concept of envy. Where
someone perceives good qualities in another they try and destroy them rather
than emulate them or use the gifts being offered. If they receive any goodness
into themselves then they turn and try and destroy that through self-attack. The very qualities and experiences which could help them,they seek to destroy. It is very primitive and very real in some
people. I am sure there are Christians
that would say that it is the Devil at work. Jungians may say these people are in the grip
of an archetype such as The Witch or The Judge. Other forms of understanding
this in different cultures can be of possession of the person by a spirit that
requires exorcism; a variety of shamanic process. In its positive form this is
sometimes called soul retrieval.
Shamanism and psychotherapy are close together as an increasing number
of books now recognise such as Christa Mckinnon’s <i>Shamanism
and Spirituality in Therapeutic Practice </i>, recently published. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The irony is that this work all requires some sort of
positive therapeutic relationship; and that is precisely what negative K seeks
to destroy. Sometimes therapy and life requires a process of hanging on to this
relationship even when results and common sense suggest otherwise. In this
respect working as a therapist is an act of faith against a sea of unknowing,
unreason and darkness. The struggle to maintain the therapeutic relationship and get agreement to name and work on the trauma ( which can be very effective using energy psychology methods), is sometimes the bulk of the work. As a committed
therapeutic relationship is now against the cultural norm of instant
gratification and moving on; this is particularly hard. The boundary in therapy and life between commitment
and masochism is sometimes very hard to discern!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-34291760979870495912012-11-11T03:09:00.001-08:002012-11-11T03:11:09.433-08:00Pleasure<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I met a pleasure based psychotherapist recently. When Janov's Primal Therapy came along I seem to recall that he said that a therapist was a dealer in pain. So is therapy about pleasure or pain and trauma?<br />
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Nobody would go to a therapist to talk about how happy they were or what a great childhood they had; but it is one of the more interesting questions in therapy the extent to which we have to go in to past pain and trauma to clear it out. In our culture we have the "no pain, no gain" school of development. A deeply Puritan culture like the British is very suspicious of happiness. I can lead straight in to the arms of The Devil. In most therapies, both humanistic and analytic happiness could well be covering something up; even a manic defence against deep sadness. Of course this can be true but it is also true that many defences, particularly somatic ones, tend to block access to all deep emotions; pain as well as joy. This is simply because all strong emotions and body sensations are close together in their emotional anatomy and neurology. On a fairground rollercoaster the riders play with the edge between fear and excitement; screaming with fear as the car descends and then cueing up for another go! A father playing with a young child may throw them up in the air and catch them giving squeals of joy, excitement, fear overcome by return to safety. Deep sobbing and deep belly laughter are quite similar to observe from the outside. In the intense autonomic activation of orgasm, pleasure and crying can come together. Those in to BDSM are experts on the edge between pleasure and pain and how both can lead to altered states of consciousness.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xEz2aXSy-F0/UJ-DyUz-byI/AAAAAAAAACw/Z6B5KJqHjcg/s1600/03dream.large2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xEz2aXSy-F0/UJ-DyUz-byI/AAAAAAAAACw/Z6B5KJqHjcg/s200/03dream.large2.jpg" title="" width="198" /></a>Many therapies are very interested in trauma; particularly if that term is extended from single incident events such as an accident, or act of abuse or death of someone to include developmental trauma such as having a depressed mother when there would be many occasions when the required empathic attunement and caregiving weren't there. In the past going into the pain was seen as the only way. Now with modern energy psychology methods such as AIT(<a href="http://www.aitherapy.org/" target="_blank">www.aitherapy.org</a>) that I practice this is known not to be necessary. Just naming the trauma and finding the location in the body is often enough to clear it.<br />
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So as we block pleasure and pain, when a client comes in for a session reporting that they feel good. Unless I am very suspicious of this, I will only want to move feeling good to feeling fantastic. There has been more attention recently to positive psychology and to the concept of Flow, (from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi); a state of being where we are not divided and distracted but fully engaged in life at that moment.<br />
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So while I will try as a therapist to stay fairly divided in my attention between pain and pleasure. I have a growing sense that working with pleasure and how to expand it and deepen it within our bodies and our neurology is a powerful way forward. This forms a large part of my book Tantric Psychotherapy that I am working on at the moment (see <a href="http://www.tantricpsychotherapy.com/" target="_blank">www.tantricpsychotherapy.com</a> )Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939877821241871622.post-6596695321930657652012-10-29T13:44:00.000-07:002012-10-29T13:44:11.232-07:00Exciting Times for PsychotherapyWhen I started training as a psychotherapist in the 1970's "proper" therapy was psychoanalytic and they generally wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of any other ways of working. Behavioural schools had been around and were used a bit (after all it works for training dogs) and were looked down on and Humanistic approaches were completely ignored even though they had been around for nearly twenty years. Gradually things have changed; dialogue started. Many conditions, such as anorexia were very hard to improve from just one orientation. Deeper understanding of the therapeutic relationship showed how different approaches focussed on different strands of the relationship. Different therapies came from different social and political milieu and also reflected the preferences of the founders. For example Freud was a doctor, a medical researcher, and came from a scientific and rather mechanistic understanding of the human being. He was also quite a shy person. His methods and his theories reflect this. In the middle of his working life came the Great War, which also affected his understandings of human nature. Some humanistic approaches came from America in the nineteen fifties and sixties. A very different world.<br />
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Now the dialogue has turned into a real debate with real listening and with many people training and working across modalities. Discoveries in neuroscience, greatly speeded up by the development of brain scanning, have allowed us to see the brain in action and more fully understand the roots of our behaviours. The move towards recognising the essentially human nature of the therapeutic relationship with two fallible human beings in one room has allowed the subtleties of the interactions to be studied and understood. Increasing respect for human subjectivity has gone along with the knowledge of the mind and body and how they are really two sides of the same coin.<br />
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For many therapists, the move towards integrative approaches to therapy and the inter-subjective revolution are more than enough; but there is more. Neuroscience has validated the work that body psychotherapists have been doing for half a century or more to reduce trauma. The basic practice of mindfulness from the Buddhist traditions have been incorporated into therapies like Mindfulness based CBT and DBT. Research has supported traditional practices and given them respectability in the West; where we want to know why something works before we will accept the evidence of our own senses.<br />
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And there is even more when we move to the edges of conventional psychotherapy. Remember that psychotherapy comes from <i>Psyche </i>meaning Soul and <i>Therapiea </i>meaning healing. Healing the Soul which is also reconnecting the Soul to its source and in to Nature is a shamanistic practice. Most shamans use plant substances to help with healing; sometimes through journeying to other realms. LSD and Ecstasy have been used in psychotherapy in the past; and until recently in Switzerland. Natural substances such as <span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">ayahuasca can speed up the process of therapy by a considerable factor when used in a clear professional capacity. The recent dropping of the Government's attempt to prosecute the Santo Daime people in Britain may give some support to those who want to extend its use to therapy.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">This of course won't be welcomed by those trying to make psychotherapy as respectable a possible - an impossible task as psychotherapists hear the secrets of people's unhappiness with life and therapy deals with what is not acceptable in the world. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">The other big revolution, also not discussed in psychotherapy circles comes under the name of Energy Psychology; the collection of approaches that use the meridians, energy lines and chakras of the body for psychological healing. Some have fallen more under the heading of alternative therapies and some are more clearly under the banner of psychotherapy. The former include Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Tapas Acupuncture Technique (TAT), Thought Field Therapy (TFT) and the latter; developed by a Jungian therapist, Advanced Integrative Therapy (AIT). All can have great results in skilled hands. AIT, with which I am most familiar, speeds up the process of long term therapy by about a factor of three. They are not magic methods; just a refinement of what Freud intuited, that energy flows in the body and how it is blocked and channelled is important. AIT removes the block caused by trauma which are held in the body. The silence of the psychotherapy world with all of this is deafening. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">However, things are changing fast. The current issue of both the major professional journals in Britain have interesting leads. <i>Therapy Today</i> has an article on <i>Yoga as Therapy; </i>and the current issue of the UKCP journal <i>The Psychotherapist </i>is mostly on <i>The Theory of Love. </i>Perhaps things are really beginning to change and fresh air of change is blowing through the world of psychotherapy even as other changes are making what is available on the NHS more and more scarce and restricted. In this blog I want to open the windows wider. Join me!</span>Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18429957533175619565noreply@blogger.com03 Whitehall Pl, City of Westminster, WC2N, UK51.5073346 -0.127683151.1901456 -0.76214359999999992 51.8245236 0.5067774